No More Heaving: 2 Solutions for Avoiding Painful Hangovers

By Sam Parker

Pounding headaches, body aches, fatigue, nausea, spinning rooms and unquenchable thirst are all signs of a successful night of heavy drinking.

Commonly known as a hangover, these ill effects can typically be cured by downing lots of water, popping some ibuprofen and sleeping a few extra hours, but what if there was a way to avoid the next morning’s pain altogether?

Synthetic Alcohol Allows you to Sober Up with a Pill

A research team, led by psychiatrist David Nutt at the Imperial College London, is experimenting with a new kind of booze. Synthetic alcohol, or synthenol, a tasteless and colorless spirit substitute consisting of six compounds similar to benzodiazepines—drugs widely prescribed to treat conditions such as anxiety and insomnia—is said to eliminate the next morning’s sickness. By forcing the brain to relax, these compounds, including one similar to diazepam, the primary ingredient in the anti-anxiety drug Valium, leave individuals feeling tipsy but not belligerent, according to the Telegraph. Synthenol does not affect the areas of the brain that control mood changes or addiction, either, so drinkers can feel comfortable in knowing they should expect nothing but mild inebriation and feelings of happiness.

Though this new booze won’t leave you stumbling onto the floor, it will provide a buzz, and in order to sober up, one simply needs to pop a pill, the Telegraph stated. Working to mute the synthetic alcohol’s effects on the brain’s receptors, this pill helps to restore the body to its normal state, leaving individuals feeling perky and alert once again.

Synthetic alcohol is not yet available, but Nutt and his team expect to perfect the substitute’s formula within the next two to four years, according to The New York Times. Nutt could not be reached to find out how much the product will cost, whether or not the substitute can be added to nonalcoholic drinks or what the pill that helps a person to sober up is made of or how it works.

Hangover Heaven: Recover in Style

Nvate hangover synthetic alcohol by david nutt hangover heaven by Jason burke

Credit: Hangover Heaven

Who needs to worry about a designated driver when a bus full of nurses can come pick you up from the bar to restore you back to health?

In Las Vegas, Dr. Jason Burke has created a taxiing service called Hangover Heaven, a 45-foot-long, resort-style vehicle that provides medical treatment to intoxicated parties. The bus can accommodate 10 to 14 people and is complete with front and back lounges with sofas, flat screen televisions and Bose sound systems, a kitchenette, a private consultation room and four private bunk beds, according to Hangover Heaven’s website.

Conveniently located two blocks west of the Vegas strip, Hangover Heaven visits designated stops at the Hard Rock Hotel, Paris, Bellagio and The Cosmopolitan, according to the company’s website.

Specially-trained nurses administer three Food and Drug Administration-approved hangover-curing packages to passengers. For $99, the Redemption Package, the most basic service, includes intravenous hydration to help flush the toxins from one’s system and to improve skin appearance. Salvation, the premium package, is priced at $159 and offers intravenous hydration, vitamin supplementation and anti-nausea and anti-inflammatory medications to quickly clear the body of all toxins and to improve one’s general state of health. Lastly, the In-Room Therapy package—$400 for the first person and $200 for each additional person—includes an appointment with an actual doctor and a 45-minute treatment of IV fluids, including anti-nausea and anti-inflammatory medications as well as vitamins. The service is available seven-days-a-week with hours varying by day—Monday through Thursday the services are available 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. and from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. Friday through Sunday. Interested customers can purchase a hangover package online or by phone.

Burke could not be reached to find out how many buses run each night, how many nurses are on each bus, if he plans to expand Hangover Heaven to other cities and the possible legal hurdles he had to overcome to launch his business.

Thanks to the researchers behind synthenol and Burke of Hangover Heaven, today’s partygoers can enjoy the warm feelings of intoxication without worrying about the next day’s side effects. However, both parties are quick to remind drinkers that no service or substitute can completely solve the dangers of irresponsible drinking and addiction. Hangover Heaven’s disclaimer makes this clear, “Our buses can work magic, but they cannot bring you back from the dead.” Drink responsibly.

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